Before the Shipwreck
by meowbooks
Summary: Charlie and Oliver love apples. They meet Captain Barbossa three years before Jack reclaims the Pearl. What happens when they discover Barbossa can't eat apples?
1. Charlie

**Disclaimer**: Pirates of the Caribbean, the Black Pearl, and Captain Barbossa are not and will never be claimed by me.

This will be a short companion to Shipwreck: Murtogg and Mullroy.It explains the Charleston Boy's first encounter with pirates. Please be warned, Charlie can wander off track quite a bit.

Before the Shipwreck

A_n account in his own words of how Charlie Mercer met the notorious and most evil Captain Barbossa of the Black Pearl_

Intro

It sure was something I'll tell you, just like in those stories. You know, the ones about pirates? I've heard plenty of 'em. Sacking towns and poor little ports, slicing through the warm waters of the Caribbean Sea, the African coasts, the Orient, meeting with other ships manned by parrot-on-shoulder pirates with eye patches and gentlemen's swords, though they weren't any such thing.

Any story 'bout them I've heard, sure as my name is Charlie Mercer. 'Course my mum probably tell me to introduce myself all right and proper and be proud of being _Charles _Mercer, but I don't think I'm a Charles yet. So call me Charlie, not Chuck 'cause that isn't me either. Now what was I talking about? Doesn't that bother you when you lose what you were saying? Oh, I remember. It would've come faster if Ollie was here-were here. I know what he would've done.

He'd say "Aw, Charlie how did you forget a thing like that? You were going to tell 'em 'bout the pirates!" And of course he'd be right and I wouldn't have to have you wait for five minutes just because I forgot. Anyway, you might not believe it, but I _met _a pirate.


	2. Ollie

**Ollie**

_We_ met pirates. I _was_ there, just like Charlie to leave me out. Not that means to, just who he is, Charlie my best mate through ev'rything. And when I say everything I mean it. My first memory had Charlie in it. I think we were trying to eat apples. Our mums had to snatch 'em away on account of the fact we didn't have any teeth yet and were likely to choke on 'em.

I think that's why we became friends. We almost died trying to stuff apples in our mouths. Or maybe it was because we loved apples from the very moment we set our eyes on them and met each other in the very same instance. Apples. There's no finer fruit. Red or green or yellow, shiny, smooth skin, sweet, crunchy sounds when you bite into them, not a vegetable or a mutant bunny who sings theme songs, the best sort of fruit ever realized by all…

But I digress, plus you already knew apples were wonderful right? We were talking about the night we met pirates. It was a strange night in Port Madison. Fog had whipped out of no where. It was around midnight; we had snuck out and climbed onto a roof of a building overlooking the veiled harbor. Charlie and I had been counting how many people had feathered hats or black shoes. I was telling him that "eleventy-two" wasn't a number when-

BOOM! BOOM! It was loudest sound I ever heard-no, next to loudest, there was this one time a weird parrot warned us about something, 'course that's another story all together. We whirled around to see a docked sloop disappear in a bright yellow ball. We gaped open-mouthed and said: PIRATES!


	3. Pirates

**Disclaimer:** Barbossa and company belong to Disney. The Oliver,Charlie and Jon belong to me.

**Pirates**

"Puh-p-pirates!" yelped a voice. "Let me come up there please, please?" Ollie and I looked down hoping to spy who was calling and who was there? That Jonathan Green looking straight up at us in his night cap and night things didn't even have enough sense to change.

He's _always_ there. I don't know how he does it, but every time we turn round there he is yapping away, tellin' us off for being by the docks, or snitching we took a measly bun from the baker. It's just weird.

It's like he's a puppy followin' us around and all- I wouldn't mind a dog, but he isn't no dog. He isn't one of our brothers- Ollie and me we're not related-not even a neighbor, so there's no reason for him to be-

Here? Just when I was-that's scary…


	4. Jonathan Green

**Disclaimer:** Barbossa is nearly there he belongs to Disney. Meet Jonathan Green or Jon as some of you know him.

**Jonathan Green**

You two are going to be in SO much trouble-where'd they go? Oh, hello.

Salutations! Good day! A pleasure to meet you! My name's Jonathan Green, much obliged if you'd call me Jon. Have you seen a red-head? His name is Oliver and he's a bit older than me and is usually with Charlie-

They were telling you about pirates? Was it the one about when we were in Port Madison? They just left? How rude of them! I'll tell you about it if you'd like.

They had snuck out-again-around 11 o'clock and well, I certainly couldn't just stand there and not do anything about it. So I followed them. I know I should have had a bit more sense and changed first, but I guess I wasn't thinking properly- it was the middle of the night.

I had followed them down to the buildings near the docks, then they turned a corner, I ran after them, then they weren't there! I looked around, under a soggy bit of abandoned canvas, behind large barrels, around some crates, peered into small dinghies and little rowboats tied to posts. I even looked in some apple barrels just to see if they might be trying to hide from me. I found a snoring man with a bottle of what was no doubt the cause of his sleepiness, but no Charlie and Oliver.

I was just about to start heading back home when I heard familiar voices:

"Eleventy-two isn't a number!"

"You're just sayin' that!"

"Am not!"

"You is!"

" 'You are' not 'you is', who taught _you_ to talk?"

"If twenty-two is a number eleventy-two is a number too!"

"There is no such thing as eleventy _anything_."

I could hear them, but I couldn't see them anywhere! I mean it was quite disconcerting to be able to hear them, to be so close and still not find them.

I stopped for a moment, something just felt _odd_, and I turned around facing the harbor. At first I didn't know what it was a dark shape, an indistinct figure, darker than the waters it glided upon, slithering silently as a sea serpent-a ship.I thought it was the strangest thing, a ship with no lanterns in this fog? I should've realized what that meant: It didn't want to be seen.

A _swoosh, _a flash of light, a roar of sound, all were spinning to one conclusion in my mind, one that was echoed in the air: "PIRATES!"

I looked up- it was them, on top of a roof, no idea how they did it- but I wanted to be up there too. I begged them, I pleaded, I implored them, I whined- I was being ridiculous- would they please, please, let me come up there-there were pirates!

I was seven. I was an idiot. I was frightened worst than I had ever been. I was in my night clothes. Please, don't judge me because of that.

Charlie and Oliver weren't doing anything and _they_ were getting closer, things were blowing up, people were running around carrying pistols, and rifles, and glass bottles, rats were in the alleyway, Santa Claus wasn't real- I didn't want to be there!

But they were the only people I knew, I wasn't going to just go off on my own and get snatched, they would eat me, they would feed me to big sea monsters with teeth and whippy tails and horns and lovely singing voices, they were going to get a mermaid to kiss me, wear funny clothes, or make me eat vegetables-that's what my mother always told me: "You go up and do a thing like messing wit' pirates, go ahead- vegetables everyday, every night…"

They were going to do-to do, everything and anything that could possibly be bad. I KNEW they would, I just KNEW.


	5. Saving This Story

**Disclaimer: **Pirates of the Caribbean does not belong to me. Aztec gold plays a part in...

**Saving This Story**

Aw, Jon! You're ruinin' the story! No one wants to hear you go on about how you were thinking 'bout being kissed by no fishy mermaid! Honestly, how can you make something so 'citing as us meeting pirates sound like-like it was the worst thing that ever happened?

_Yes_, I was listenin' the whole time…Hmph. 'Eavesdropping'? I didn't drop anything!

Sorry 'bout that, don't you worry-sure as my name's Charlie I'll keep this account from making you snore louder than Mr. Gibbs. Don't tell him I said that, but really, it's true- it's like a rumbling thunderbolt or a hungry sea serpent!

Jon was being ridiculous begging and crying, but really how were we supposed to get him on the roof? We had climbed up there you know and it's not like we could climb up for _him._ All he needed to do was use those arms and legs that he has same as the rest of us and he would've been up there. Now the way I see it is, if he had really wanted to be up there he would've stopped whining and been there sitting on the roof in 'bout five minutes. But he didn't so he never got on the roof.

So we, Ollie and me, were looking down at him after explaining 'zactly how we were perched like birds on that roof and he was 'plaining 'bout he couldn't do that and it was't fair and we were just avoidin' him. Now how could we've been avoiding him if we hadn't even knowed he'd been followin' us? So now he was saying:

"Please, don't leave me alone!"

"C' on Charlie, let's go down there." Now that was the last thing I expected Oliver to say.

"What? Why? Look at this view-see you can see that bloke only has one eye-"

Then Oliver had this look on his face that always means we have to do something I don't want to do and he said to me in that you-know-it's-right voice of his, "Charlie…"

I hate it when he does that, making me feel guilty with that face and that voice. I've tried doing the same thing to him, but it _never _works!

"Oh, alright…"

So Oliver climbed down and I was 'bout halfway and my foot slipped next thing I knew I hit this soggy bit o' canvas and knocked a bucket full o' rainwater over.

I heard this plink. Saw a flash of gold- a coin. A gold coin.The three of us just sort of stared at it- like we jus' couldn't help but look, like it was just darin' us not to, as it rolled past us. It was rolling slow like it _meant_ to roll the way it did. But coins can't mean to do anything, can they?


	6. One Had a Wooden Eye

**Disclaimer**: The coin and the pirates are Disney's.

**One Had a Wooden Eye  
**

The coin...I certainly 'member that. Shiny, more yellow than a golden delicious apple, glinting in the moonlight that coin. Strange really, the moment it clinked onto the ground the three of us-followed it with our eyes like it was a bushel of apples. Quiet like- sure we could hear all the fighting nearby, but us-like we'd been caught. That isn't like Charlie, concentrating and being quiet- only things he's int'rested in are apples, pirates and losing Jon. Haven't figured out to do that part yet.

Anyway, that coin slowed it's rolling, quivered a bit, then felt flat on it's side showing a skull , _smiling _it seemed. There are only two places I've seen skulls-church graveyards and headstones, which happen to be _in _church graveyards. We looked at each other, you could see it too, we wanted it, but we didn't like it.

I was the first to speak. "What is it?"

Jon said, " I do believe it is an object of high monetary value with exotic origins."

"No it isn't!" insisted Charlie. Triumphantly he smiled. "It's a gold coin."

"And it would be ours." We looked up. Two pirates. One had a wooden eye.


	7. More of Mother's Advice

**Disclaimer**: I'm borrowing without permission, but ownership is theirs. Aye, I'm terribly sorry. I've been neglecting this one.

**More of Mother's Advice**

"PIRATES!" I shouted. It was horrifying. A fake wooden eye swiveled to catch up with his good one, he was skinny as a skeleton and his teeth were yellow as ducklings. The other had matted stringy hair, a horrid sinister grin and-and- he hadn't buttoned his shirt! Worst of all they were filthy! Grime and salt and perspiration clung to their skin. I wanted to get a cloth and some soap and just scrub it all off. A terrifying thought ran through my head. I would get…smelly.

I ran to Oliver's side and gripped his arm, "I don't want to kiss a mermaid- I don't want to kiss a mermaid! Don't let them take me, please, please, please…"

"Be good boys, eh? Give the gold." He smiled wider revealing his teeth. I gasped. His teeth were even worst. I shuddered in utter revulsion and fear. More of what mother had said came to me, "They want your shoes-give it to them. It's not worth your life." I took off my shoes and placed it in front of them, then scurried back over to Oliver.

The pirates looked at each other in contemplation, weighing my fate. That moment I thought, _I hope they like my shoes._


	8. Charlie Groans

**Disclamer: **PotC is Disney's m'dears and don't you forget it.

**Charlie Groans**

Oh, that Jon! Who would want _his_ stinky shoes? The two pirates stared at him like he was a rotten apple-even the skinny one's wooden eye came 'round to him! Ollie bent down, and rolled the coin towards them. I've told ya he's clever, right? The short pirate started to pick it up. Ollie tugged on my sleeve and the three of us go running to the other end of the alley, splashing through puddles before turning the corner.What we did then was scurry up the side of that building and sit on the roof to wait for the pirates to pass.

We squinted down at the ground trying to see where the torch holding pirates were. Jon was whispering and still going on 'bout his mermaids. I glared at him hoping he would stop- I should've had enough sense to know it wouldn't work. The fact is he took it as an invite to talk even more. I hissed, "They'll hear you!"

Still, the puppy follower kept at it like how gravity pulls apples from trees. Now, then Ollie shook _his_ head and Jon quieted like the mouse he isn't. Like I said, I can't figure out why he can do looks to make people do something and I can't. I suppose I ought to try and convince him to teach me one of these days.

So anyway, where were we? Right, so the pirates chased air and ran out of the alley. Ollie and I smiled knowing what we had to do next,but before we could a second later we hear a rumbling noise. We look down and I groan. That Jon had done something again!


	9. It's Not Fair!

**Disclaimer**: Pirates does not belong to me, but the Charleston Boys do. Yes, yes, I've been remiss. My apologies...

**It's Not Fair!**

"Wait! Where are you going? Don't leave!" I cried from the ground as they easily navigated their way up finally resting on the roof, flat on their stomachs, eyes peeking over the edge. "The mermaids! The mermaids with the hair and-and-I don't have anymore shoes!"

"They're coming!" hissed Charlie. I paced back and forth, between a barrel and soggy wooden boxes, staring at the ground, all around, up at Charlie, Oliver, twisting this way and that frantically searching for a place to dive into.

"The barrel! The barrel!" whispered Oliver waving his hand toward it. The fingers of flickering light were creeping around the corner so without hesitation I dove in headfirst. I couldn't understand, I was in something, I couldn't breath, I-I was under water! I twisted, banged on the sides, trying to find up, rocking, swerving, in the dark, hearing muffled sounds I flailed around. The world fell away and started spinning, water sloshed out, over my head, I sputtered and coughed, grateful when all the water was spent.

I now know that the had been barrel was rolling on it's side, down uneven ground, aimed right at the pirates. Thunk! The barrel came to a jarring halt and before I could recover whatever sense I had I was dragged out by two searingly cold hands, unnaturally cold hands.


	10. What Can Ollie Do?

**Disclaimer:** AWE is out! I profit from this in no which way or form.

**What Can Ollie Do?**

Quickly, we crawled to the other end of the roof. Ol' Wooden Eye wrenched Jon out of the barrel. He was much shorter back then, he's pretty much caught up with us at present, but then he was a shrimp and looked something awful. Coughing, spitting, hair stuck down by the water and trembling-whether it was from the water or the two I've never figured.

Straggly Hair sneered something fierce down at Jon, took him by the shoulders and said, "Alright boy, you know any others 'round heres with bits of shine like this-" He held the coin up. "-would you? A bit years older than you?"

"I-I-I…"shivery Jon said. Charlie and I frowned at each other and I knew something had to be done. I looked hopefully at Charlie.

"No, no, no, no." Charlie looked squinty at me. "Don't look at me like that- _I'm_ not about to walk any ol' plank or lose MY shoes…"

"Speak up, boy! Come, come we haven't all night!" growled the Straggly Hair.

"You tell 'im Pintel!" snickered Ol'Wooden Eye beside him smirking at Jon.

"Charlie…we have to do something!" I whispered. "Do you want _him_ to walk a plank?"

"He wouldn't be following us around anymore."

"CHARLIE!"

"Alright…maybe I'd mind a bit…" He cleared his throat and shouted down. "Speak FRENCH! Ask 'em if they speak French in French!" I yanked Charlie out of the pirates' view.

"What are you doing?"

"P-parley vous franchise?" The two pirates' heads turned and they stared long and hard at Jon. The shorter one-Straggly Hair as I calls him, finally said, "What?"

"P-p-par-"

"He said parley!"Charlie shouted standing up.I tried to pull him back down. "Us being pirates we know what that means!" All three of them down there looked up at him. Jon was as confused as he had began. I shook my head and whispered, "I'd certainly like to know what I know."

"Come on," Charlie quick as a whip scurried down. What could I do, but follow?


	11. The World Spins

**Disclaimer:** So many things to finish...Hm. Well, we're getting closer to finally meeting Barbossa. Yay! Jon doesn't seem too thrilled as...

**The World Spins **

I was wet, the world was still spinning, the two pirates were sneering at me, and I wasn't in any state to argue with what a familiar voice said. I did what they asked. I spoke French. My pronunciation was off and I had never been good at accents, but I said it. The effect was immediate. The two pirates stared at me and the one with two eyes demanded to know what I had said. I bit my lip._ I probably said they were a piece of stinky cheese-they're going to feed me broccoli! I don't like broccoli! I like coconuts! _

I tried again, but their three evil eyes glared effectively rendering me into a stuttering, little, trembling, and still dizzy mess.

"Take us to your Captain!" commanded Charlie jumping off a barrel and landing easily on his feet. He looked quite heroic. Oliver appeared at my side, grinned at him and bit into an apple. I still haven't figured out where he puts them. They lose things like hats, shoes, wigs, a pig, and on one occasion a sack stuffed with mud, but they always seem to make food appear out of nothingness.

The two pirates exchanged a look and shrugged. The tall skinny one grabbed Charlie and Oliver by the shoulder steering them ahead of him. "After you."

The other swung his lantern before him silently telling me to walk to my broccoli eating, mermaid kissing, shoeless, dirt covered doom.We were nudged into a rowboat and the two rowed until we pulled up alongside the pirate ship. I climbed up the side and my hand touched the rung at the top. I moved to pull myself on deck, but found boots. I looked up and screamed.

It was a SKELETON! A rotting, foul, unnatural, commanding, boot wearing skeleton! I started scrambling back down.

"Oy, what yeh doing?" snapped the voice of stouter pirate. My feet were stuck to the rungs, and my eyes were stuck on the most horrifying detail of the the skeleton. He wasn't wearing a shirt.


	12. Oh, Jon!

**Oh, Jon!**

I remember that! No shirt? Oh, who cares about that bit? Shhh. It's _my_ turn. It was amazing. The skeleton rolled his eyes at Jon and stepped away to let him climb up. He stepped out of the moonlight and-and turned into a man! I had to stare straight up just to see his eyes when I stood next to him later. I would've sooner-if Jon hadn't just stopped in the middle of climbing.

Honestly, you'd think he could've crawled onto the deck first before screaming and staring with his mouth open like the dead fish I see at the market. No. He had to stop right there and give me a fantastic view of his feet. "Oy, I saved your life! Moving would be a good thing!"

He crawled onto the deck, stood up and stared again. That's when I climbed up and stared too, only I actually made sense when I said something, "Can you teach me to do that?"

The tall muscled skeleton, rolled his eyes and walked away. He moved out the moonlight and returned to boring-I'm-a-human-pirate. That was disappointing. I'd thought once you turned you'd stay a bit longer. I began thinking up all the things I could do if I could POOF become a rotting skeleton. I could probably scare Mary Perkins while she's out on errands or-or Jon! Yeah, that would show him for being like a mysterious puppy. Turning up when he shouldn't and-

"Move up there, you!" said the shorter pirate shoving me towards a door. I rubbed my shoulder, turned around and was 'bout to tell him he was a bossy, barnacle head when I noticed he'd gone all skeletal too. Jon went mad. He started up shrieking and he wrenched me through the door. Being who he was he knocked us right into a bearded, old man with a large round brimmed hat.

Jon fell on his knees, "Please, please, please, no vegetables, no more skeletons, I haven't any more shoes! Take his! Take his!" He tried taking my shoes off, but I scrambled out of the way. Who was he to be giving away MY shoes?


	13. Ollie Has a Feast

**Ollie Has a Feast **

"No shoes! No shoes!" Jon whispered as he tugged at Charlie's feet. The old pirate with a fantastically round hat and a feather raised a brow and frowned. I pulled Jon to his feet, catching him around the middle so he wouldn't try going at shoes again. He was like a muddy pig wiggling and squirmy like. "Let go, Oliver…"

The old pirate moved to the side and we saw a feast: chicken, lobster, bread, fancy glasses, real shiny things, tablecloth and candles and in the very middle a bowl full of apples. Even Jon had to stop moving to look at it. That just does to show the power that fruit has.

It was all still until we looked at the old hatted pirate who smiled, bowed and said. "After you."

I don't even remember moving, but there we were leaning over the table taking in all the smells, watching the steam rise and candlelight move over the smooth, sweet fruity, fruit that was the apple. The old pirate sat at the largest chair and we decided he wanted us to do that too.

Charlie didn't waste a breath. Or rather he didn't breathe for a full five minutes as he slurped up everything, but his folk and plate.Jon just sat stiffly and stared wide eyed at the ancient pirate. I wasn't sure if Jon was breathing either. Now, I like to enjoy what I eat. Hmmm. The turkey and buttery lobster were delicious. Charlie's always bragging about how he can eat a whole chicken in fifteen minutes. I doubt whether he tasted anything.

We might disagree on how to eat things, but there's one thing we don't agree on. As soon as we finished, we went straight for them. I picked a bright green one and Charlie chose a red one. We were just about to bite into one when Jon jumped on top, knocked us out of our wooden chairs, and sent the apples rolling.

"DON'T EAT THEM!" he screamed picking them up. That was his first mistake. You don't mess with our apples.


	14. There's No Sense

**Disclaimer:** Barbossa, Pintel, Ragetti, The Black Pearl, Aztec Gold and Bosun belong to the mouse. The boys belong to me.All this writing shouldn't be taking this long. As promised in my profile, from this moment on I shall update one of my story at least once a month (preferably more). I now reconvene Before the Shipwreck!**  
**

**There's No Sense **

I watched that old pirate because he was watching them. His eyes were set on whatever was on Oliver and Charlie's plates staring away at every bite they made. When the two made a move toward the apples, the pirate's steady stare changed. His eyes widened, he sat up straighter in his chair, and drew closer to the edge of the tablecloth as the distance between their hands and the delicious fruit shortened. A cold thought came into my head. I bit my lip. Maybe Charlie and Oliver wouldn't eat them. Maybe they'd just, just save them for later and—No! I jumped on the table, knocked into Charlie, Oliver and their chairs, and crashed onto the wooden planks with them screaming. I was the first to recover and I swiped their apples away. 

Charlie spat out a chicken bone. Oliver shook his red hair out of his eyes. They lifted their heads, knees and hands holding them up, tensing as if to pounce. Uh oh. I looked at the apples in my hands. I frowned and held one above my head. "I'll drop it!"

"Y-you wouldn't…" Charlie gulped. He looked to Oliver, "He wouldn't. He can't…" Oliver didn't look so sure and stared worriedly at the apple. I tightened my grip on the fruit and pointed to the old pirate, "He's not eating!" 

"Well, of course not…" said Oliver regaining his voice. "I'd think you'd tackle me too."

"Don't you see?" I said, tapping impatiently. "He's--"

"Not going to take our shoes!" sighed Oliver. "Is that what this is about? I think he would've done it already." He started slowly walking towards me. "Now, just put the apple down…There's no need for any unnecessary…accidents."

"Get BACK!"I screamed. He stopped. "Do you think pirates just give away fancy dinners 'cause you speak French to them? He's trying to KILL US!" The pirate drew back a bit in his chair. There was a silence, then Charlie and Oliver started giggling. Yes, giggling like Mary Perkins. 

"Oh yes, we're all going to choke on chicken bones…" snorted Charlie. Oliver smiled, "Well, you might."

"Would not!" said Charlie crossing his arms.

"Would so--" POW! The old pirate cut Oliver's sentence short with a shot in the air. "SIT!"

We sat. He tucked his pistol into his belt and glared like he'd make the moon fall on us. "I open my doors to you, I serve you drink and food and you accuse me of being so inhospitable as to try and kill you?"

"You stared at the apples." I countered,"You wanted us to eat them-cause you poisoned them!"

At this, he put his hand over his heart and sunk back into his chair, "Yes, I wanted you to eat them, but poison apples? Me? Never! There's no nobler fruit in the world." Charlie and Oliver's eyes widened at this and they shook their heads in agreement. 

"Boys, it is a sad tale I have to tell you..." He leaned in closer, and barely a whisper said. "I can't eat apples." 


	15. Oliver and Apples

**Oliver and Apples**

It was the saddest thing I'd ever heard and sure as my name's Oliver I've heard a fair few things. I've listened to stories 'bout ladies widowed by the sea, desperate salts sailing out into storms and the apples that were unfairly bruised on the way but nothing like being unable to eat apples. The old hatted pirate explained his misfortunes. Charlie and I listened polite-like as we should.

"…and so, every time we make port…My crew finds someone brave and worthy enough to dine aboard the Black Pearl so that I might not forget what joy apples bring."

I frowned and stared at the bowl of apples. It must've been horrible to have it so close and not be able to enjoy it. Thankfully, Charlie and I were just the brave and worthy sorts to help him. We reached for them and were just about to sink our teeth in when Jon had to start hissing away at us.

"It's a trick! He's just using apples to kill us all!" He glared at the hatted pirate. "My mother warned me—"

Barbossa stood quieting Jon like water on fire. "I'm beginnin' to tire of your bilge, boy." Jon gulped. Barbossa slowly moved towards him as a cat would to a cornered rat. Jon grabbed the candlestick holder and swung it left and right in front of him. The pirate reached toward him, stepping into a pool of moonlight, hand turning all bony. Charlie and I gasped in awe. Jon didn't think it was amazing. He shrieked and threw the candle stick down. FLOOSH! The rags of the pirates' once fancy clothes lit up.

"Fanastic!" grinned Charlie. We watched the pirate bat away at the flames. Jon rushed past snatching the bowl of apples off the table. "That's not fair! Apple thief!"

How dare he take away the thing we were about to enjoy? Rule 434 in our apple guide book was : Share apples! We ran out of the cabin and found Jon rolling the apples across the deck and chucking them left and right. No, no, no, apples weren't for attacking they were for EATING!


	16. Blinded by Apple Love

**Disclaimer: **PotC, Barbossa, the Black Pearl and it's crew are not mine. I'd like to say thank you to everyone who's read or reviewed this story. Thanks guys for sticking by it even though I'm horrible at updating. :D

**Blinded by Apple Love**

Those two-two-urgh! All they saw were apples, did it worry them that they were charging head first into a crew of skeletal pirates who were likely to start shoving vegetables down our throat at any moment? Did they care that they were knocking and tripping said pirates down just to apologize to bruised bits of fruit? Did they realize I was trying to save all our lives? No. They were kissing and cradling apples in their arms. They didn't stop picking them up until every pirate was sprawled across the deck. I looked around realizing this. _That turned out better than I expected. _The sound of the great cabin doors swinging open turned my head to see a still smoking bony pirate captain."You rotten fish scales! GET AFTER THEM!"

The pirates groaned and feebly stirred a bit. I turned to Charlie and Oliver who were singing of all things to the fruit. "PIRATES! Skeletal, vegetable eating, food poisoning pirates! Let's go!"

Charlie didn't even look up as the pirates regained their footing. "Can't you see we're trying to apologize for what you've done?"

"Yeah, Jon!"_ Duck feathers!_ That was it. If they had to insist on being ridiculous…I did the only thing I could: "Apples are disgusting, I'd rather eat dusting!"

Oliver hugged the apples closer and shot arrows at me with his eyes. "Take it back!"

"Hahahah!" I stuck my tongue out at them. "Not gonna!"

"Take it BACK!"

"Maaaaake meeeee!" I screamed bolting down the gangplank.I ran down an alleyway, past barrels and buildings. I turned corners making sure the two could just catch sight of me until I cleared them. I ran until I couldn't hear the creaks of rotting bones and the howls of the pirate Captain, until Charlie tackled me and pinned me down by the shoulders.

"How dare you insult apples!" He hissed. "What did they ever do to you?"

"Get off me! I just saved your life!" Charlie pulled me up by the arm and looked at me."Yeah? How?"

"We're off the ship aren't we?" He blinked, squinted at me, carefully glanced around, and finally let go of my arm. "Oh."

Oliver patted me on the shoulder. "Thanks." He turned to Charlie. "We better start heading home."

"No, no, no!" Charlie turned Oliver around and gripped him by the shoulders. "We have to tell Toby about all this!"

Oliver shook his head. "Mum's probably worrying about me. Pirates attacking and all." I smiled in approval at him. Finally, they'd be doing something right.

"You're just SCARED, Oliver Wainwright!" shouted Charlie as Oliver slipped away. "Scared of what she's going to do seeing as how you haven't been taken by pirates!" He looked at me. "I'm not scared of my mum." He smirked. "Not like you."

"I am not scared of my own mother."

"You are too. You were even scared tonight when all we were doing was accepting a dinner invitation. You were shaking the whole time like when we dangled that rat in front of Miss Perkins!"

I crossed my arms and glared up at him. "I most certainly w—"

"You were! Tugging at shoes and—"

"Charles Peter Mercer!" Charlie froze, confidence slipping from his face. A scowling lady stood behind him hands on hips, face and stance sharp. Charlie gulped and turned around. She seized him by the arm and began dragging him away. "You foolish, little—little—Oh, when we get home yer father's going to have yer ears!" Charlie grimaced and half-heartedly waved good bye.

He's scared of his father as much as anyone. And don't you dare let Charlie say anything different.


	17. Epilogue: Jack Finishes the Tale

**Disclaimer:** PotC is Disney's. The three boys and story ideas are mine. Just to clarify, the attack on Port Madison occurred three years before CotBP, but the characters are telling it at a point in time after CotBP.

**Epilogue: Jack Finishes the Tale**

What's all this? _Mister Charles Mercer_! Yes, you, the one with a raised fist and one shoe, leave Jon's face alone. I won't have you bloodying the cobblestones with undue, undeserved, and—that's nonsense, everyone's afraid of their mothers, that's what they're there for, frightening little snips of things such as yourselves into respectable young men. Not that it always works…

Sssh! Sssh! Sssh! SHUT IT! It's bad enough when you caused havoc on my _Pearl_. Now, you're sullying what was a perfectly disrespectable visit to Port Madison. I ruined your story? Hah! Calumnious lies!

What was the subject of said tale? Barbossa's attack on Port Madison. Hm.I supposes you'll want me to include your parts in it seeing as how these listeners have heard it from you lot first. How far along?

All right, well, unlike these three I was not present at the aforementioned proceedings. I was after that traitorous, bony, codfish, Barbossa's blood at the time, not knowing he was already paying for the sin of avarice courtesy of cursed Aztec gold. He and his crew had marooned me on a God forsaken, sun-burnt, isle, tearing the _Pearl_ from my hands after obtaining the gold's location.

I suppose now, I should be thanking them. A life without pleasure, not knowing the sweet satisfaction of an apple's crunch or the salty kiss of a mermaid—that's another tale I should get to telling you—or a soft as angel breath breeze on the face, is no life at all. And truth be told, even I wouldn't have wished it on them.

Where were we, oh yes…After setting Barbossa aflame, a sight I would have relished at the time, Oliver, Charlie, and Jon fled the Pearl quick as a pursued cat, beloved apples in arms. Barbossa's skeletal form spat out a command, cursing their names and his men for letting three boys humiliate the crew of the feared _Black Pearl._

"Masters Pintel and Ragetti! From now on, we're not having childish dinner guests; we're not having any dinner guests until we find Bootstraps' spawn and give him his final meal! Now, get off my deck and join your pathetic excuses of crewmates!"

Meanwhile, Charlie and Jon were being dragged back home by their mothers unaware a crew of undead pirates were in pursuit.

"Sneakin' off in the middle of the night!" scolded Mrs. Mercer a grip strong as any iron shackle on her boy's arm.

"Nearly killin' me with worry, you ungrateful thing," sighed Mrs. Green pulling on Jon's collar, "how many times have I told you them pirates will give you vegetables? How many times?"

"I'm sorry, mum…"

"Really, Jon? Crying to yer—"

"You be quiet, Charles!" snarled Mrs. Mercer. "You're probably the reason he has to go apologizing to his mother! Why don't you ever apologize to me?"

"'Cause you wouldn't believe me any—OWWW! Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I'm _sorry_!"

"But, mum, we _were_ taken by pirates," began Jon. Mrs. Green put a hand over heart and kneeled down to look into her boy's eyes. "Oh, oh, Jonathan! Charles and Oliver have finally done it! They've addled your brains!" She pulled Jon close to her bosom, kissing him fretfully on the head.

What? That's what you told me she did. No questioning your former Captain, Jon! Sssh.

"What d'ya mean, _my Charles_ addled his brains?" said Mrs. Mercer sharply relinquishing her grip on Charlie's shoulder. "What, just 'cause you serve some fancy lady, your boy is better than mine?"

Mrs. Green pushed Jon away, rising to her full height, hands on hips, chin tilted up. "Your _boy_?Your little crim-in-al,"—she dragged each syllable out—, "and his ratty little red-headed friend have been corrupting _my _boy ever since you and your drunken sailor of a husband came here!"

"Always trying to be clean, as if a little speck of dirt was going to spoil your child, at least my boy can defend himself," said Mrs. Mercer patting Charles on the head. "What can your's do? Write an angry letter?"

"What's fighting going to do for him?"said Mrs. Green circling Mrs. Mercer like a dog. "Get him _killed_, that's what!"

Charlie and Jon backed away—right into skeletal hands. They looked up to see ol' wooden eyed, skinny, ol' what's his face, and stout, balding even in skeletal form, Pintel, swords in hand.

The two boys looked at each other, gulped and screamed, "MUM!"

The two ladies turned, their fiery energy turning with them, they stared at the skeletal pirates as if they were as threatening as a dead fish they were ready to gut and serve for supper. The two skeletal pirates glanced at each other, tightening their grip on their swords.

"I'm sorry, dearie, for accusing you." said Mrs. Green. The two women strode forward.

"Bless his heart!" smiled Mrs. Mercer, "Jon was only trying to warn us…If only Charles was as considerate…"

"No, no, Charles probably defended, my Jon."

The two pirates grabbed the two boys and lowered their swords near their throats as they began walking backwards. Pintel smiled, "Now, now, ladies, you wouldn't want anything to happen to these two, would you?"

Mrs. Mercer elbowed a running skeletal pirate holding an armful of swag in the head and ripped the skeletal arm still holding a sword from him. Mrs. Green tripped another unfortunate skeletal looter and took his boarding axe.

"Parley?" grinned Ragetti backing into a wall. Mrs. Mercer growled and Mrs. Green said, "We don't speak, French, dear."

"Did you hear that, Ragetti?" said Pintel. "They don't speak French. Sorry for the inconvenience." The two pirates shoved the boys back towards their mothers. "We was after two little French speaking boys."

The two women walked around their sons. Mrs. Mercer freed the sword from the detached skeletal arm, threw the arm aside, and pointed the sword at the two pirates. She didn't look back as she said, "Boys, go home."

Charlie and Jon acquiesced, running all the way, only stopping to let Oliver join them and wave at his parents who were shoving a skeletal capuchin monkey into a barrel and tossing a skeletal dreadlocked pirate into the path of an empty flaming carriage pulled by a team of horses.

While chaos prevailed that night in Port Madison, three boys were able to scrape by unscathed. Unfortunately, their appetite for adventure had not been sated and they stowed away onto a merchant ship. A series of events occurred that later found them aboard the Pearl under my captaincy, but that is a rather more complicated tale to tell.

Try looking up one Joshamee Gibbs if you should ever find yourself on Tortuga. He would take far more pleasure in telling that one than—

Ah, I recognize the sound of black boots and barked orders. Farewell, and remember this as the day you were told a tale by Captain Jack Sparrow!

* * *

Author's Note: Despite my sporadic updates, I hope you have enjoyed reading and reviewing this story. Special thanks to Arquenniel and WayLowHalo for reviewing most of the chapters. :D


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